darn, I did it again and posted on Outrage instead of Orange...that's what happens when you blog while lying on the couch watching Cary Grant.

Trying to recover the voice

Finally a quiet Sunday afternoon with nothing much going on. So I am watching Arsenic and Old Lace (We won't have any STRANGERS buried in our cellar!) in the glow of a brilliant ruby red sunset. With a computer in my lap. I know that I have been neglecting the blog...somehow all the starch went out of my sails after the jury ordeal.

So your family's crazy. So you're crazy. That's the way I want you.

Said to Cary Grant, but could be said about almost anyone, couldn't it?

Stupid online shopping

So I am online shopping at JoAnns for some fleece fabric that is for a awesome price when all of a sudden my cart worth of 46 dollars jumps up to 110 dollars. Apparently the sale ended at midnight eastern time and I had to say farewell to some awesome christmas presents. Argggg I can not believe that they would just change the price of things in my cart while I am in the process of checking out. Arggg Argggg and Arggg

Alex Got Bit

So Alex got Bit by a little girl at Sunday School this morning. I didn't really think it was a big deal until I actually saw it.. I'm not really happy about it. I wasn't there when they told Chris. I was actually at the park taking Family Portraits, So I didn't see it til hours later and that's when I got mad.. Mainly because it was STILL there.. So this photo was taken about 7 hours after the incident and it's still there. So, I'm going to send the director an email about the situation. I know that kids bite each other. It's just what they "sometimes" do. Alex is even guilty of it, but evidence this late in the day... Come on???

If you can't see it, click on the photo and it will get bigger.

As for Alex: He cried and the little girl got into trouble, so he told us. But he didn't retaliate. I think he was happy enough that she got into trouble.

UPDATE: so I talked to the mom (she called me & was very sweet & sorry) and told me the whole story. The little girl sat in Alex's chair and he pushed her out of it and on to the floor and then she bit him. I knew there had to be a back story to this whole thing.. so, we've had a big conversation about not pushing people out of chairs and then you won't get bit.. :) Now me and the mom have a play date for Pump It Up. :) Hopefully there's no pushing or biting.

Exhausting dreams

I hate and I mean hate dreams where I am having to deal with Sam being a tyrant, defiant child. I mean really who wants to spend their restful time arguing, chasing down and fighting with a willful, defiant boy.

Last nights dream was set in an old English town and we were on our way to somewhere and the boy kept catching these massive rats and putting them in his pockets and then he kept wading through these puddles and getting sopping wet and picking up huge pieces of horse poop throwing them at people. Never once listening to me or staying next to my side and we were obviously in a rush to get somewhere. Arggg

I just hate waking up feeling like I want to strangle Sam already and he is still asleep.

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

We love you!

$585.00 for a cell phone ticket. Need I say more.

Banks know how to steal money best

Wells Fargo held Abby's paycheck for 10 days and charged her 35.00 for every check she wrote (rent, utilities, etc.) that wasn't covered because they were holding her paycheck. Almost $500.00 in overdraft charges for an overdraft they caused themselves. Then when she called the bank, they reversed all the charges. But what really outrages me is, some people wouldn't call and WF would get away with all that *stolen* money...

Another version of, ironic isn't it

Well if you have been following my blog than you would be all caught up on my dog park social bubble and how I have found numerous moments of humor. Defining the difference between dog people and dog lovers.

Well today while waiting in line at the movie theater for popcorn a lady from the dog park adult luncheon got in line behind me with her friend. Turning to say hi, she proceeded to introduce me to her friend,

"This is Rachel, she is a dog person"

I just about fell over. Was she slapping me in the face with my own blog or what?

Ironic, isn't it?

A teacher I work with has been harassed by a parent, accused of calling her little darling stupid, etc, etc,etc. She spends 40 minutes screaming at the principal on the phone so when she asks for a meeting, the principal, a little worried that things might get out of hand, calls the sheriff and asks them to stand by...just in case. She gives the sheriff the woman's name and...lo and behold...there is a warrant out on both her and her husband.

Ironic, isn't it?

They never did have the meeting.

(the child is no longer at our school, in case you were wondering...)

Me and the THUG

I registered my car on line, putting in the tracking numbers of a check, as they required. Got my stickers and thought all was fine until we received a letter from the DMV dishonored check department. So we go the DMV office, wait an hour and get assigned to the THUG'S window. By the way the registration was not even due until 9-26 and this was the 21st. I originally paid $103 but now they wanted $214 because of penalties.When I asked about these penalties he said"Mam the fees have gone up and I don't see anything about penalties " so I guess he also could not read. I had my current registration and tried to tell him it was only $103, but he kept interrupting me"Mam, you are not listening, the fees have gone up". Finally I tried to show him my card, reaching over the counter. "Step back, I am going to have to ask you to leave"So I said, "excuse me but what is your name?" " I did not give you my name, nor do I have to"At this point the supervisor came over, was very nice, did not understand the fees, called Sacramento and straightened everything out.

Neglectfull Parents

After we came out of Rite Aide tonight (about 9:45 pm) from getting ice cream, we came upon a car with 3 UN-attended children. The car was parked in the handicap space right up front, all the windows were down, the car was off and there was (guessing ages) a 3 maybe 4 year old boy, a 1 1/2 year old and an infant maybe 6-9 months.

There was no way I was going to leave that car and go home.. So I didn't say anything to them, but stood by the car (holding Lauren and about 3 feet from the car) and waited til the stupid ass, M F-er, non deserving sperm donor came back to the car. I suppose I could have said "parent" but to me, that's not being a parent. Then out he comes, gets into the car and doesn't say a word to me. Knowing full well why I was standing there and hopefully embarrassed enough to never pull that stupid s**t again!

First thing Chris said was, "well there's a Daily Outrage"..

I thought about calling the police, but the last time I called them on a man beating the crap out of a women in a car in front of my house, it took them 1 hour and 20 minutes to respond.. Now I'm not saying anything bad about our police dept. but I called twice to let them know the man was also drunk and would soon be driving and they should hurry up.. 1 hour & 20 minutes...

Red Light Runners

So for some time I've wanted to Outrage about people who run red lights when they should be stopping. I will admit that I am guilty of doing this, but I am trying to be very self aware of it and stop.. When I drive around I have to wait at every light to make sure someone's not going to run their red light and probably about 8 out of 10 times someone in fact runs the red light. It's very dangerous!

So today, we are talking to Alex while we drive around town. Conversation went as such:

(me) Alex what happens with a green light?

(Alex) GOOOO!

(Chris) what about a red light?

(Alex) GO FASTER!!!!

LOL- we laughed our butts off!

(us) no Alex, red is stop and yellow is slow down. NOT go faster.

(Alex) Yeah go faster.

(me) Chris I swear I didn't tell him that!

(Chris laughing) (me laughing)

UGH!! So I guess I'm outraging about myself. :)

Clean House

I think that it is ridiculous that you have to be a shop-a-holic, disorganized, lazy, clutter freak to get the crew of clean house to come over and not only clean your house but create a gorgeous new living space for you. Shouldn't the fact that I have children qualify me for a reward of someone else cleaning my house.

Guess what I am watching.

morning outrage

I think that it is an outrage when my darling husband gets up in the morning to scream at the kids at how loud they are being and how selfish and inconsiderate they are. Very tempted after a restless nights sleep to continue the cycle and yell at him that he is being selfish and inconsiderate cause I can semi sleep through Leah watching a movie at a deafening volume and Sam and Emma taking a bath with an alarming amount of water filling the tub. But there is something about an outraged Ian that I can not semi sleep through. Nothing like starting out a day waking up in a selfish and inconsiderate home to make you want to smile and smell the roses.

Stupid Sally

It's 1 am and I'm trying to get some work done and stupid Sally woke Lauren up by barking at a cat. Stupid cat! Stupid Sally! Don't they know that I have to be with her all day and not get any work done and that now that it's 1 in the morning, I'm suppose to have quiet time.. Work time!

I am a terrible aunt

Yeah, so you know how I was supposed to take Sam to a reptile show today and we were both really excited and looking forward to it? umm.... oops. That was last weekend. I'm the worst aunt ever. I owe you, Sam! I promise we'll do something fun together!

THIS IS SCARY, SPOOKY CREEPY

I JUST RECEIVED THIS EMAIL FROM A COMPANY I HAVE NOT ORDERED FROM AND NEVER GAVE SHADOWS NAME OR BREED OR PICTURE

Alex...

broke our house camera today. BROKEN!!!

62 mph

Who sets their cruise control to 62 mph on the 166 (a two lane, primarily non passing road?) Well that stupid car in front of me did and while the children were asleep too. It is the most outrageous speed on that road cause it is too fast to pass and too slow to follow. Nothing like making a long ride longer than being stuck behind an older, oriental woman who is out for a nonchalant drive where everyone behind you is stuck behind you. And just to taunt me she would semi pull to the side and slow down but only when an oncoming car was coming in the opposite direction. Which proves she knew exactly what she was doing the whole 37 min I was behind her.

Microphones in the picture

Ok, can I get everyone to agree that "Julie and Julia" is a major big budget studio film? Then why the heck did someone allow the microphone to be visible in many scenes of the movie, not just barely there, but bobbing around at the top of the screen? It was very distracting...It reminds you that you are just watching a movie, pulls you out emotionally. I have never seen that before, and I don't know whose fault it was...but they should be fired!

No More Ice Cubes For Lacey

So with my recent root canal problems, I have to give up anything cold or hot. This includes any ice cubes. Anyone that knows me, knows that this is a very sad day. I now have to drink room temp. water. I'm really not happy about this. Not to mention the terrible pain that I'll be in until next year when our insurance will pay for more dental work. Poor Poor Poor Lacey :(

Worst assignment in the WORLD

Leah has been in an outrage for a while now and her current outrage is that I assigned her the worst assignment/consequence in the world.

What could it possibly be? - you ask

To write 10 things about each family member of what she appreciates about them.

Right now she is stuck on three and just needs one little hint.

Yep it is an outrage to be the daughter of the worst and meanest mom in the world.

Airline Tickets

So a couple of days ago Chris and I were researching flights to New Orleans for our 10th anniversary. We found great tickets for $240 each round trip.. We didn't act right away because we thought we still had a few days.. We were stupid.. I started looking yesterday and found that they had gone up to $350.. Yikes.. It had only been 2 days.. So I started scrambling and panicking. Every time I refreshed the page they went up.. So I finally bought at $400 each instead of 240.. Oh, well.. At least that portion is taken care of and we're locked in. I did by with Travelocity, so there is that guarantee. So, we'll just eat less while we are there. :( But at least we're going. We're very excited about that.

Damn Phish

My outrage is that Phish is having a three day festival in Indio THREE DAYS.
The reasons that this is an outrage is as follows;
1) it is close enough to go to therefor making it obtainable (why could they not have just kept it on the east making it less of a temptation)
2) we have three kids therefor making it unobtainable
3) the tickets are expensive making it well..... expensive
4) it falls right next to my 30th birthday making it even more of a reason to go
5) it falls right on Halloween which would make us evil parents for ditching our kids on one of their holidays.
So ya it is an outrage that phish is holding a three day festival within our reach but out of our grasp.

I blame it on the LA people...

Ian and Josh went to collect wood from Marc's special firewood spot on Thursday and was stopped by a ranger who told him that he needed a permit to gather wood. We have been getting our campfire wood here for years...Ian said that he thought that it was allowed if you were camping and only getting campfire wood. So the ranger backed down a bit and told him not to take too much...But that he needs a permit next time. Yikes! maybe what he really wants is to make money selling those bundles from the campground host for $5.00 each...

Stupid Airports

Chris was supposed to be coming home tonight after TWO very long weeks and his flight was late making him miss his other flight, which was the last flight into Bakersfield.. He also tried to run to make a flight to Burbank, but also missed that.. So now he's stuck in Phoenix for the night. He did get ahold of Casey and Gorden and is going to spend the night with them.. so at least there's that. It will be nice for them to visit and for Chris to see there place.

Hopefully this is the end of the upsets and he can come home tomorrow..

At a loss

My camera broke and we are going camping next week and I just want to cry!!! oh and I am outraged that my one personal (outside of my clothes for now) possession would break on me the absolute nerve of cannon.

Fire Alarms

This morning at work, the fire alarm went off.

All of us went outside to the designated "safe" area. It was sprinkling. Luckily I had my umbrella.

Less than five minutes later, we were told via bullhorn we could go back in.

Less than five minutes after returning to my desk, the alarm went off again. And its been on now for over twenty minutes because they can't get it to turn off.

Its the most annoying, obnoxious fire alarm sound I've ever heard as well.

What an awesome way to start the morning. With a growing headache.

Black Widows

A damn black widow spider moved into our mail box.....
Why could it not have chosen one of the other, oh 30 other boxes to build its web so I told Ian and he said why I have not killed it yet. Well as I am leaving the house to run my errands. ect.... the last thing I think of grabbing is the spider spray. Grrrr I hate getting my mail while keeping one eye on the black widow. And as the Leah exclaimed today, "Its getting so big, pretty soon it is not going to be scared of your hand"
Yeah so I think I am going to put the spider spray in my car right now that I am thinking of it.

My Cell- Gone

So, I went to the Movies today with my friend and our kids. I lost my phone somewhere from the movie and the car.. My guess is that someone cleaning the movies found it, pocketed it and scored a new Centro Phone. While looking for my phone with a flash light and someone helping me, the someone told me that there are times when the employees find things and just keep them. "HE" would never do that, but he's known people to do that. Yes, I know this. Which is why they better hope I never find them or I WILL kick their ass into next week..

So I share the info about the employees stealing with the manager. "oh, no, not possible, our employees would NEVER do that. they would turn it in to me".. "really cause I just had a conversation about how they just keep cool stuff. They would never steal it in front of YOU, but when was the last time you supervised a cleaning after a showing??" "yeah, that's what I thought"..

Anyway, my cell is gone.. I now acknowledge that I have an ADDICTION to my phone.. I was twitching on the way home cause it wasn't with me.. I do have insurance, I did call Verizon, they did suspend my number, I can get a new phone for free, and I do have my old phone to turn on in the mean time... But none of this is the point.. I think Chris is the only one that truly knows how much this is driving me crazy. Not so much the phone itself, but the fact that I can't find something.. It's literally driving me crazy.. I simply CAN NOT rest until I either find it or get another.

It's made me tired. As soon as the kids wake up, we're going to Verizon.. Hey, both of my kids are sleeping.. How amazing.. Maybe I'll lay down.. what a foreign thought..

Ray

Ray has a broken back. The doctor who took X rays before they left said he had some inflammation and would be fine to go on the cruise. He was WRONG. Ray has suffered for 6 weeks with a broken back because of a doctor's ...what...laziness?...incompetence?

Poor Ray.

Vet's bill !@?@#!

So Hawthorne had a three legged gait yesterday and this morning the paw in question was noticeably swollen so off to the vets we go....
Well after answering their questions about Hawthorne's living environment and if there is a chance that he could have snuck outside and been exposed to any wild animals or snakes, we left him and awaited their phone call to let us know what is going on. Well at two today I got the call to say that Hawthorne is ready to come home. No wound marks (bites,) no broken bones and after you pay your bill of 220.00 we will go get him for you. I just sat down on the chair dazed and exclaimed out loud 220 dollars.
Leah asked, "Where is Hawthorne?"
"Oh I just have to pay our bill first and then they will bring him to us."
With tears welling up in her eyes she exclaimed, "They won't give us our beloved dog back until we pay them?!?"

So all in all, Sam said that he will not ask to go to mcdonalds (cause I always listen to him anyway) and he will not eat anything cause that costs money, Leah said that we will not go grocery shopping until she has eaten every last thing in the pantry even all those crumbs on the cereal shelf (what crumbs on what shelf) and Emma is going to be a good listener cause Hawthorne is her goood boys. And Ian and I apparently have no beer money for the rest of the summer.
Stupid vet bill and all to tell us that he strained his paw and that Hawthorne needs to be in a crate for a week (hmmmm) and for all those wondering Hawthorne weighs 94 pounds.

Alex Newkirk Here

So we're at Target this weekend.  Me, my mom, dad and little sister Lauren.  I kept telling them I wanted something, but they weren't listening to me.  I think they must be stupid or something.  I was yelling...  

Cop Porn Cop Porn Cop Porn!!!  

They kept looking at me strangely and they just started laughing.. I really didn't appreciate their amusement. When I want "popcorn" I really mean it.. I'm not just kidding around!!!  

Low Quality Video

This isn't quite as outrageous as Lacey's recent outrage about Alton Sassoux, but still pretty maddening...

Yesterday, Lacey made a short movie of our adorable children being adorable and cute and funny. She used our little point-and-shoot digital camera to take the video, and, as a result, the video quality is pretty poor.

See what I mean? This is the lowest resolution that Youtube is capable of displaying and it's still too high for this video.

So I got to thinking, "this can't be the best the camera can do, can it?" And I started playing around with the settings and took some sample videos.

As it turns out, the camera can do much better... But only if you set it to. The default setting is crappy low resolution video even though the camera can do much better if you let it.

Just think of all the great videos we could've had all this time.

Alton

The father of one of my groom's was killed over the weekend.. By a drunk driver. At the bottom is the link to the story. It's very sad. In the comments you'll read about how happy he was and what a  friend he was to everyone..  These statements are very true. I have my own special memories of him. For those of you that remember my couple "April & Cory", he was Cory's dad. I won a contest with a photo of April & Cory. Anyway, we bonded instantly due to him also being a photographer and cookie delivery guy. Two things I know very well. Not to mention taking their family photos and other things. He will be greatly missed.. I hope the person that did this gets the maximum sentence. For the love of God, just call a cab!!!!  

http://people.bakersfield.com/home/Blog/BreakingNewsTeam/46664

OMG! OMG! OMG!

Am Blood Sugar: 204    Current Weight:  220  OMG   

Shall I say OMG one more time??  What the HELL???  

So the other day I got on the scale and was mortified to see 215 and then we went out of town for 3 days and I came back 5 pounds heavier.. How is that possible??  I don't even remember eating that bad.. 

Well, I told Chris my clothes were getting tight and that we needed to do something about it.. I didn't know they had gotten 220 tight!  

So I also started a new medication this morning and haven't checked my sugar but have felt fine all day.  I want to have about a weeks worth before Chris leaves me for Idaho next week.. I'm funny about new diabetes meds while he's gone.  

so, that's all.. I'm only blogging to make myself worse so that maybe I'll do better this week.. Lord Help Me!!!  

grrs

Mom and Dad are in Portugal and I am not. Outrageous!!

Costco Santa Maria (and Wal-Mart)

So the muffins come in a smaller packet now, where you have to get 2 different kinds like the bagels. Which most people don't know about. So they get to the front and then the boxer (bagger) has to run back and get them another. This is proceedure. I should know. I did my 4 years there. So, the lady in front of me only got 1 package and the cashier was just going to let her leave with only 1 for the full price. She asked if someone could go get her another package and the cashier said his boxer didn't have enough energy.. W.T. F.????? Are you kidding me.. It's your f**k*** job... I'm so pissed about this that I'm going to call the manager when I get the chance. So I say, (being the noisey person that I am in public) "you can have one of mine and I'll run back and get another later." (cause she was running late).. She paused and then took my blueberry muffins.. So when I was finished I grabbed the first costco worker I found and asked him to run back. totally not his job. He was a cart pusher. But he was very sweet and ran back.
So, how can he possibly be working there as a boxer making anywhere from $10-$13 an hour and NOT go get the ladies muffins????

Then I went to Wal-Mart and these women were screaming at eachother because one lady hit anothers cart.. Seriously, screaming "YOU BITCH, YOU BETTER WALK AWAY, YOU BITCH" If they didn't have kids with them and being terrible roll models, it would have been funny.. I just gave them all a look that said, "you are all very immature!"

Is it Santa Maria or is it the strange weather? Maybe it's just stupid people.

more water issues

Ok, so they come to "fix" it this morning. Apparently my water heater was turned off. At least, that's what he said. I don't understand how it would be turned off, or how it would slowly go away (at first the water would be hot for 15 mins or so, then 10, then 5, then not at all) and it doesn't explain why the cold water is coming out brown. So I called again, and he came over again, but my neighbors were gone, and since the water heater is in their garage they need to be here to give us access. He also just told me that the cold water is coming out brown because I'm not running it enough. With all the animals I have I'm running the cold water at least 3 times a week. He said to just let it run for a few mins and it's totally fine. Which I disagree with. Someone at work suggested I just call the health department and make them deal with it. The water isn't dark brown, and it does clear up eventually, but still. It's supposed to be clear and colorless.

Anyway. He's coming to look at the heater for the third time tomorrow morning (I asked him to go ahead and turn it all the way up too), and I need to figure out what to do about the fact that it's brown. grrs!!

Am I really asking for too much?

All I want is a hot shower and clear water. It's not like I live somewhere where this isn't available. Stupid cheap apartments in the ghetto.

No Junior Mints, WHAT?

So hung out with the little kid sister yesterday. Gretchen, now 13 wanted to see "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past," why? Because it has Matthew McConaughey in it. Ok Gretchen, that's the movie we'll go see.

First we had to do lunch. It's hard picking a place with her when she loves so much junk food and can't give me a real answer when I ask her what she wants. So since we we're going to Edwards to see the movie, I chose Johnny Rockets. We had a nice lunch and couldn't finish all our food.

Then we went to get tickets for the movie. After we got the tickets, it was of course, time to go get candy to sneak into the theatre. First we went to VONS. Gretchen wanted sour patch kids. I like them too. But she insists she hates other sour candy and that it just tastes "sooo different." Uh-huh. I want Junior Mints of course, because you DON'T go to a movie WITHOUT JUNIOR MINTS! VONS didn't have any. So we didn't buy anything at VONS and went to Rite Aid instead. Got the Sour Patch Kids, but suprisingly not in normal size or jumbo size did Rite Aid have any Junior Mints. The tag existed for the candy, but an empty shelf was in its place. WHAT? How can you be ALL OUT of Junior Mints?



So I resigned myself to pay the $4 or more at the Theatre for Junior Mints. We picked our seats and then I went back to the counter to get my candy. The candy is now sitting on racks outside the concession stand instead of inside that little glass box. Resses Pieces, Red Vines, and some new nasty candy called Muddy Bears were a plenty. I did not see any Junior Mints. When I got to the counter the concession worker told me that they didn't have any. Not that they were out, but that they don't have them and do NOT sell them. Ever.

I asked to speak with her manager. Seriously, I did.

I asked her: "Please tell me your business decision for choosing not to sell Junior Mints."

She looked at me and said "We never sold Junior Mints, and I've been here for 8 years."

Now, I know that I have some funky stuff going on upstairs, but it's only been 5 years since I've been away from Bako and I told her "I think you're mistaken because I haven't been away that long and I've had Junior Mints before..."

She went on to tell me that they just don't have them because they have a contract with Nestle and Hershey's. Who the hell distributes Junior Mints?

Ok fine, don't sell them. Your patrons are now 3x as likely to bring in their own candy from other stores, not just because they have the junior mints but all their other candy will be cheaper too.

Not smart.

So the reason for all the missing Junior Mints at the Marketplace shops is no longer a mystery.

Seriously, who makes fun of deaf people?

My daily outrage is that I can't go into great detail about what happened today because, as we all learned a few months ago, what we write on these blogs can come back to haunt us and I don't want to lose my job. All I'll say on here is that people who make fun of other people for being deaf and who yell at their server and their server's manager because their food took took long (despite the fact that they couldn't figure out what they wanted), and then claim that the food came out wrong are very, very frustrating and I am very, very grateful that once I'm a CST my customers will be unconcious. I mean, seriously? "Do you think they can hear us?" ugh.

ants

The ants are back and I have three children that shy away from cleanliness like an ant is drawn to their crumbs, popsicle sticks, yogurt containers, left over marshmallows from the ponies party, pretty much the trail of their existence. Oh how I hate the ants.....you would think that if your family invaded a country and daily a giant was gruesomely killing numerous members of your family YOU WOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Apparently ants do not think like I do and therefor the ultimate battle of the summer has begun. It is on and and many more ants will die before this battle is over.

Dangerous Drivers

I was on the 99 heading South and taking the 58 East off ramp... At the very last moment, someone from 2 lanes to the left decided they also needed that off ramp...  Now we've all seen this a million times and some of us have done it.. Swerved to the right across 2-3 lanes only to clip the dirt that we're not suppose to be on..  But today is was an ENTIRE SEMI TRUCK!!!  Seriously people???  A number of things could have gone wrong with this situation.. starting with the size of the truck, the speed, etc.. not a good idea...    and all right in front of us (me & kids)..  

Access Denied= Poor Customer Service

Here I am at the Hilton Hospital of La Jolla, California-able to get onto the internet and update a blog, but unable to access Facebook. Social Networking is bad when your in the hospital. Someone could get offended. Nurses could sit on their bottoms all day. And Patients would spend hours online updating their friends and families about current health conditions. Stupid patients, have to ruin it for all of us.

Semi-humorous outrage

I got some new fabric so of course I start making some more blankets. Well today I started making one for my brother Johnny. My one brother that semi eats kosher and occasionally goes to the synagogue. Well look what appeared as the design on the blanket. This is what happens when you are a beginner sewer attempting to make new designs with her quilt squares. I wanted to cry but found myself laughing and the whole time I hear my mom's voice in my head saying, "I would expect this from you" so maybe I will just give the blanket to my mom. No I think that I will just burn it or take out all the stitches or.....
Well whatever I am outraged, crying inside but I think after a couple beers I will just be laughing.
Love, The Jewish Girl

Pet insects

Aiden just got out of the bathtub and came to me and said, I swear this is word for word, 

"I hope my mealworm wants some hair smell."  

And the outrageous thing is, I knew exactly what he was talking about.

Stupidness

Why is it soosoooo impossible to find a map of either the bike trail through Bakersfield or a map of the walk way at the Bluffs...  UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I guess I did find a stupid map of the  bike trail, but seriously, why would the city of Bakersfield have a page "talking" about the trail and then not have a map on how to get there..  

By the by, I know where it is and where to go, but this is not my point.. What about those who just moved here and are looking for some exercise...  

Cheese conspiracy

Tillamook ran out of sharp cheddar.  Huh?  For weeks, I kept thinking that there has been someone buying all of my cheese before I could get to the store.  I had to make Macaroni and Cheese with the black cheddar...because Tillamook ran out of the red wrapper cheese, the only staple in this house.  We might run out of toilet paper, but never Tillamook sharp cheddar.  And then I find out via Facebook, via Esther Lee, via Carina, that Tillamook themselves sold out and will have it back on the shelves by July 1.  Isn't it their business to keep a sufficient supply of cheese percolating, or whatever cheese does, so that I can make Macaroni and Cheese the proper way?  And people are worried about swine flu...

State of the schools

We have been told by the superintendent that our class size will go up to 25 next year.  And I suppose we are still going to be expected to teach addition and subtraction with regrouping, fractions (comparing unlike fractions), time (elapsed time and time before the hour), money (making change), multiplication, division, possessive plural nouns, cause and effect, fact and opinion, trustworthiness, respect, fairness, responsibility, citizenship, caring...to seven-year olds. To twenty-five 7-year olds.

Air Pollution and Weather = Outrageous

I just read this on www.msnbc.com - I knew going into reading this that my suspicions were correct and I just had to laugh.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30476335/

Scroll down towards the bottom, and see what city ranks number one in the "worst" category. No shock there.

And my other daily outrage for the day - the weather.

Yesterday I was in Baltimore, shorts and a t-shirt, sweating profusely and watching the Angels beat the Orioles (yay!). On a side note, I caught a foul ball at the game. My 5 seconds of being live, on camera fame. It was 90 degrees yesterday.

Today, 24 hours later, I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt, bundled up in a jacket and carrying an umbrella. Its 50 degrees today.

Why? Granted I don't like sweating buckets, but I do love warm weather. Why was DC blessed with gorgeous weather for just a few days only to be doused with rain, doom and gloom for the next week?

Scary

Well I finally have something that is more than outrageous. A man(term used loosely) picks up a AX and starts chopping up a plant while telling the mother of his children " first a plant, next your head" Yes he is in jail, but his parents have lots of money and think he is a good guy who just needs help.This one scared me. He has a background of guns and anger etc. I just don't want to pick up the paper and see her name in it. She is also scared and agreed to go into hiding when he gets out of jail. But she also seemed hopeless as if she expects the worse to happen. Because she has a emergency protective order and he is in serious trouble she does have a very good advocate (not a volunteer) assigned to her.

Stupid Home Depot/Toilet Seat Update

So I finally go there to exchange the broken & USED toilet seat.  I tell her my long story. 

"Let me ask my manager".  I wait.

"Sorry, we're not going to be able to return it cause it's a bio-hazard"

somehow at this point, Muna came to me and possessed my body.

"Oh, NO, This is not my fault and I WILL NOT BE LEAVING THIS STORE WITHOUT A NEW TOILET!!!"  "It isn't my fault that someone returned a used toilet seat and YOU GUYS put it back on the shelf!"

"hold on a minute."  she leaves again and some other chick comes over and says the same crap.

So I yell at her too.. and eventually get my way. I go back and get another seat, take it to the front, exchange it and leave. 

I get home and Chris says, "That's the wrong size"..  WHAT!!!!!  THE!!!!! HELL!!!!! 

So we had to go back AGAIN last night. This time I took Chris and I had to give more hell because she never gave me a receipt..  I just want to be  done with this stupid seat. 

So we won again, got a store credit and bought a seat that is also a training seat for Alex only to get home, install it and it's too small for Chris..  Sorry honey. I'm over it and it's going to have to stay for awhile. 

Funny part of stupid girl. When she was putting in the description about why it was broken, she asked me, "so the hedges are broken?" I said, "hinges" and she  typed in "hedges" Stupid girl.. When was the last time anyone saw hedges on a toilet seat????? 

For someone so smart....

My current outrage is that a darling little two year old insists on being barefoot. Then she insists on walking halfway down the driveway until she sees an ant and then lets out a horrendous scream, freezes and continuous screaming, as if being eaten alive, until I come and carry her back up to the house. Twenty minuets after I had placed her shoes back onto her feet she walks to the end of the porch promptly removes her shoes and repeats the above. Twenty min later......
Yeah who needs a gym when you are walking half way up and down the driveway with a 32 pound two year old twenty times a day.
Oh and Lacey if you think that Alex calling you mom was bad, from some anonymous influence Emma has been answering me, "NO MAMA NO"

The Price Is High

So this is outrageous. But it's also OUTRAGEOUS!! Like you know, the good kind!

I told my sister that I would fly her out to visit over the summer. This was her birthday gift. Even two or more months in advance it's still expensive. Whoever is spreading lies about flight prices coming down ought to stop.

Yeah, it costs roughly 50 bucks more for me to fly to AUSTRALIA than it does for my sister to come out west.

So OZ is on sale from August 2nd to December 12 or something like that. A great place to go for spring! And flights are $265 each way. Wow, a whopping $530 RT. Qantas. Amazing.

Things that cost more than $530:

My Rent

A Good Plasma TV

Oral Surgery (Wisdom Tooth Removal).

Any decent computer, laptop or desktop.

Lipo :)

So doesn't this sound more appealing?

Toilet Seats & Weddings

Here's my first outrage: 

About 10 months ago I bought a toilet seat that I decided I didn't really need. I kept it anyway and stored it in the garage. So a week ago, someone (probably Alex) broke the toilet seat and it cracked in half. AH HA, I've got once. Yeah, now I don't have to spend that $25 again, I've got one in the garage. So after 3-4 days of reminding my husband to change it, I got it from the garage, put it in his hands and lovingly asked him to change it.  :)  He says, "we have a problem".  "what problem?"  "It's broken and it's been used."  How do we know it's been used you ask???  I'm sure you can  figure that out.. Gross!  So, now I have a potential fight with either Lowes or Home Depot (can't remember, so it may be two fights), a broken seat and something to outrage about.

2nd outrage: 

Is more of a statement than an outrage. Chris told me I couldn't go into details. But I should get a badge of honor for all the crap I put up with from Cranky people at weddings. And let me just say that it's hardly ever the bride. They are wonderful.. Most of the time it's the mom, but even in this case the mom was a gem.  No, there are still others that can put me in a funk and I have to just smile.. Ugh..  Let's just say I have to pray a lot while I work. 

My DAILY outrage

My daily outrage and it really is a daily outrage, is the complete lack of flushers in my household. There really is very few steps to going to the bathroom but for some reason my blessed loved ones frequently forget to flush.
It would not be such an outrage if it were only pee but yeah, and it would not be such an outrage if it were only the children but yeah.
Come on, I take a lot of time and energy in bringing food into the house and making meals for everyone but I can honestly do without (for the rest of my life) the aftermath of having to witness just how well I keep everyone fed.

Cell phones, stupid complaints, and seriously oblivious people

Last night was a bad night at work. There were a few things that happened that were quite outrageous.

Ok, first of all, going along with the theme of Mom's and Leslie's posts, people seriously need to learn when cells are appropriate, and when they're not. I had a table of 6 who were ordering their food. They weren't actually ready, but one woman insisted on "ordering" then instead of letting me get drink refills for another table while they figured out what to order. So I finally get everyone's order except for that one woman. She orders a salad. I ask her what kind of dressing she'd like when her phone rings. She answers. While I'm standing there holding everyone's menus and trying to get her order she has a conversation with someone from work about some paperwork that so and so didn't get done in time. Finally another woman notices me standing there looking quick flabbergasted that this woman is actually doing this and pokes her, so she says "Oh hold on a second, I'm trying to order my dinner and the waitress is waiting," looks up at me, says "blue cheese" and gets right back on the phone. How do you not realize that that's incredibly rude? I was in the middle of asking her a question!! grrs.

Ok so then an hour or so later I drop off a check at a table and they give me coupons for $5 off that actually expired on Halloween, but we go ahead and honor them anyway cuz we're nice like that. They leave and I pick up their credit card slips. On one was written "This price is outrageous! Totally not worth it AT ALL!!! I'm never coming back again! Call me if you need to talk *phone number*" I saw that and couldn't help but laugh. It might as well have said "Call me and give me something for free." For the record, after we took off the $5 her bill came to $47, and included 2 pizzas, 2 desserts (with ice cream added to both), 2 drinks, and a salad. Tell me a restaurant where you can get that for under $50.

So THEN it's like 9:30 and I have no tables and we close in 30 mins. For some reason they don't phase me (being "phased" means you stop taking tables and do some sidework in the kitchen and then go home). Then I get double sat. Fine, at least I'm making money, right? Except that then one of the tables ends up staying until after 11 (even though they knew we closed at 10) ordering cappacinos and long island iced teas, so the bartender couldn't do his sidework. They were there for so long in fact, that when they finally left I had hit 6 hours and 4 minutes in my shift, and had to clock out for a 30 minute break just so I could actually clock out and go home. And, of course, they tipped me a whole $6 on their $40 check. 15% is fine enough when you're an easy table during actual buisness hours, but when you make me stay there for an extra HOUR AND A HALF you had damn well tip me more than that.

Ok I'm done venting.

I feel better. :)

Susannah

Why adults shouldn't have cell phones

I catch an early metro (before 7 a.m.) to work everyday and I catch a convenient bus to my home in the evening. There is a girl on the bus who is always on her cell phone every afternoon. Blah blah blah she is on her phone from the moment she gets on the bus until the moment she gets off her stop. And if she's not on the phone when she gets on, she calls someone she "hasn't talked to in awhile and wants to catch up." Like I really want to hear your conversations every day!

And on the metro, there are many folks who talk on their phones, but use the speaker feature (that mobile to mobile thing where its like a walkey talkey). OMG - hello!!!!! That is the most annoying thing in the world. That little beep, then the loud voice on the speaker. And they aren't even talking about anything important.

My daily outrage for the day.

Why first graders shouldn't have cell phones

If you read my first post you know that I have a prejudice against giving small children cell phones.  Today another brick in my wall of prejudice was cemented...a first grader came up to me while I was on recess duty and told me she couldn't walk, run, jump or skip.  So, don't do any of those things, I responded.  

But my mom told me to call her, can I go to the office?

Why don't you go sit on the bench and rest for awhile instead?

She gives me a long look and doesn't move.

Ok, how about you go play on the swings, they don't involve walking, running, jumping or skipping.

She sulkily 'skips' off to the swings.  

The next thing I know, the secretary is on the playground.  Looking for the disabled girl.  Her mother is in the office to pick her up.  How did she know that her little darling was in need of a rescue from the evil playground?  The first grader had a cell phone in her pocket and she called her mother from the playground!

The Price of a Problematic Printer

"The Fabulous" Lacey Newkirk: Hey, the big printer is fixed!

Chris Newkirk: Really? Great. How much did it cost?

FLN: [sigh] A hundred dollars.

CN: ...

CN: What was wrong with it?

FLN: You'll never guess.

CN: ...

FLN: Paper jam.

CN: We just paid $100 to fix a printer that's been broken for over a year and all that was wrong was a stupid paper jam!?

FLN: I love you.

Upon further reflection, we actually paid much more than $100. We've been using stupid ink jet cartridges for the past year instead of the much cheaper (print per page, that is) laser toner.

And all that was wrong was a paper jam.

And I'm supposedly a "professional computer guy".

If the CompTIA people hear about this, they're going to revoke my A+ certification.

Titles

So my outrage today is that Alex is calling me "mom"  not "mama" like he has for the last year in a half.. Now all of a sudden (completely Emma's fault) he's all grown up and calling me "mom".  What's next, "mother" "Lacey"????    I won't stand for it!!   Did also mention that it's mostly in his tone..  Ugh!   but it is very cute. :) 

Is this a voodoo sign?

Aiden says everyone is going to be freaked out...I looked out the window and this is what I saw.  WT..?  Yes, it is a dead bird hanging from a string from a bloody wing.  Aiden is waiting for Grandpa to come home and put a band aid on it.  What happened to the birdie anyway, he says.  

Now he is going to type something.

 ryu67u68858966968iouyuooiykpkopitouiyoioip

With friends like these...

Almost every day Dustin and Amanda go off and do something together, without inviting me. I don't particularly mind, I'm not all that close to them. But on Monday, when Amanda was absent, Dustin said that we should go hang out at Border's during our three hour break between classes today. So today we're all getting our stuff together, Amanda tells us that she's going to a tutoring session for math (which neither Dustin or I need) and we leave for Border's. She's now super pissed off at both of us for doing something without her. WTF? I hate hypocritical people.

Rumors of spring

Who started the rumor that spring weather was pleasant, warm and sunny and lovely to be outside, planting flowers and skipping through the grass?  I had to wear two coats on yard duty this afternoon.  And now the wind is blowing, oh, I don't know, about a hundred miles an hour, and it is oh, I don't know about 30 degrees outside and it is supposed to maybe snow.  

Ok, I know that everyone has a cell phone these days, why even Scott has one now.  But when a mother sends a third grade sibling in to tell me that her son, in my class, is allowed to have a cell phone, in case he has a "sucky" day and needs to call his mother, it pisses me off.  Come tell me yourself, you cowardly mother!  I will not negotiate with a third grader.